What It’s Like Dating Another Actor

If you’re an actor, you know what it takes to sustain a career in the industry. And it’s not easy.

You’re constantly traveling from city to city, you’re more than likely working strange hours, and your next job is never guaranteed.

What do I do after my next contract is up? How am I going to make money? What if I can’t pay rent?

How could you possibly juggle a career and a relationship?

And not just any relationship… a relationship with another actor.

Sometimes, creative people can be dark and destructive. Put two of them together and you might have a recipe for disaster. (Sutton Foster and Christian Borle anyone?)

But guess what?

I am an actor.

I have been dating another actor for almost 4 years.

Here’s the truth.

It’s an emotional rollercoaster.

Our job as actors requires us to viscerally access our emotions on a daily basis. Therefore, in real life, we feel everything 100 times harder than the average person. That, multiplied by the distance we spend away from each other at theaters across the country and the harsh statistics behind our choice of profession, makes our relationship extremely difficult.

And yet… that’s why we work.

We Understand Each Other

Opening night Kiss Me Kate at Texas State University, Maggie Bera

No one fully comprehends what we go through as actors… except for other actors.

When we’re not being completely vulnerable on stage, we are showing up to casting calls only to be judged solely on physical appearance and talent.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a whopping 13% of all actors are currently working. I can’t think of a single other profession with such horrifying employment prospects.

Having another person who truly understands the uphill climb is a gift from God.

And hey… who better to help practice audition sides? Sing through material? Select headshots? Proof resumes?

We Have A Common Terminology

Backstage of The World According to Snoopy, Maggie Bera

Having a conversation about a movie with Grayson is riveting. I can talk to him for hours about my interpretation, why I didn’t like the soundtrack, why I loved the actor’s performance. He can go on and on about the director’s vision, why he hated the concept, why he admired the writing.

It’s even more thrilling when we disagree.

The obvious perk of dating another actor is the common terminology and analytical sense we share as artists.

Who else can I jam out with to Les Mis and Last Five Years in the same hour?

We Are Each Other’s #1 Fan

Stage door of Romeo and Juliet at Texas State University, Maggie Bera

When Grayson gets a job offer, I am over the moon.

When I get a job offer, Grayson is there with flowers in tow.

As actors, we understand the payoff of booking a job more than anyone. Knowing that talent, type, and luck all come into play when casting a show, the chances of actually getting the job are slim to none.

If your partner hears some good news, it’s a win for both of you.

Of course, dating someone in the same profession can be poisonous. Start comparing yourself to your significant other you’re on the fast track to professional jealousy.

Having a mutual respect for each other’s successes is the secret to a happy relationship.

100% Trust Is Necessary

Backstage at Texas State University, Maggie Bera

You know what sucks? Watching your significant other have a passionate relationship with another person on stage for 2 and half hours.

It’s not the best feeling in the world.

However, as actors, we understand the difference between an onstage romance and clearly just doing a job.

It’s O.K. to feel uncomfortable.

But what’s not O.K. is projecting your feelings on your significant other, prohibiting them from doing good work.

Trust and communication are more important than you think.

Laughing over something stupid, Maggie Bera

Maybe you’re an actor and you’re just not about that life.

But let me be clear.

Dating another actor is the best decision I’ve ever made.

14 thoughts on “What It’s Like Dating Another Actor

  1. I’ve always wondered how actors cope with seeing their significant others act out romance with another person – but you make such a great point that it’s not fair to project your feelings on them and inhibit them from doing great work. Love this post – you offer such great perspectives!

    Jenn
    http://www.honeydewblog.com

  2. Omg I would hate to watch my boyfriend kiss someone else on stage. But I think it’s so cool that you talk openly about it! I have MANY actor friends due to going to school in NYC but I think this is so important to talk about and cool that you have such an awesome relationship!

  3. Ahhh I love all your posts, but this one I think is my FAVORITE. I totally think you hit the nail on the head with it being an emotional roller coaster… I am trying to imagine dating someone in the same profession as me, and that’s how I picture it being. But I also love that you two totally understand each other and are each other’s number one fans… you know all the hustle and hard work that goes into acting, and you can properly celebrate accomplishments because you UNDERSTAND each other! These pictures are absolutely gorgeous… what an adorable couple! <3 FOUR YEARS! That's amazing!

  4. haha this is so cute. But yaaaaa I would die or at least I think I would hmmmmm maybe I should date an actor for research 😉 😉 Like after Brad left Jen is any relationship sacred???

  5. OMG! This is absolutely adorable! I love the honesty and I can’t relate to being an actor or dating an actor, but I don’t doubt it’s an emotional rollercoaster! Just like being a military wife. It’s emotions you’ve never even thought you had! lol.

    1. I couldn’t imagine what that is like! But having someone out there that loves you unconditionally… it is truly a gift. Wishing you all the luck! xoxo

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