Why I Got Cervical Disc Replacement Surgery (And What Recovery Has Really Been Like)
I didn’t think my return to the Actor Aesthetic podcast would start with a story about my spine.
But here we are.
After nearly a decade of pushing through chronic pain, tightness, vocal tension, TMJ, and a whole lot of "you’re fine" from doctors—I finally hit a breaking point.
On May 13, I had cervical disc replacement surgery. And for the first time in years, I’m starting to feel like myself again.
This post isn’t about the hustle. It’s about healing. And what it really looks like to rest, recover, and rebuild as a performer when your body says, enough.
The Car Accident That Started It All
Freshman year of college, I was in a car accident. It wasn’t dramatic. No broken bones. I went home and tried to move on like nothing happened.
But over time, “nothing” turned into everything.
I started noticing tightness in my shoulders. Tension headaches. Neck stiffness. It was subtle… until it wasn’t. Until the pain affected my singing. Until I couldn’t open my jaw in the morning. Until I started losing sensation in my fingers. Until it felt like my body was screaming: do something.
TMJ, Tension, and Trying Everything
For nearly a decade, I tried it all:
Physical therapy (more than once)
Chiropractors (some great, some not)
Acupuncture
Deep tissue and gentle massage
Botox and other injections in my jaw
Even an epidural in my back
And still, the TMJ persisted. The tension worsened. I couldn’t sing without tightness. I couldn’t look down at my phone without pain. I was performing through it, auditioning through it, pushing through it—until I couldn’t anymore.
Getting a Diagnosis (and Finally Being Taken Seriously)
When I finally got an MRI, it confirmed what I’d known in my gut: two discs in my neck were bulging. One was severely compressing my spinal cord. Doctors had missed it for years. Or they didn’t listen. Or I wasn’t loud enough.
This wasn’t about stretching or technique anymore. It was structural. And it wasn’t going away.
After a lot of research, I made the decision to get cervical disc replacement—not fusion—so I could maintain mobility in my neck and keep doing what I love.
What Recovery Actually Looked Like
Right before surgery, I was working a full-time 9-to-5 marketing job in real estate. On top of that, I was auditioning in NYC, often working from the floor at Pearl Studios while waiting to be called.
Post-surgery? I went from juggling everything to doing nothing. Literally. Reclined in a chair, icing my neck, wide awake at 3 AM because I couldn’t get comfortable enough to sleep.
It sounds like a break. But for someone used to constant motion, it was mentally exhausting. I felt guilty. I felt behind.
Then my mom—who nursed me through those early days—said something I’ll never forget:
"Even if you’re just resting your eyes, you’re still resting. That’s enough."
And I realized: healing is productive. Resting is doing something.
NYC Industry Reading of Next Big Hit
Back on Stage… Two Weeks Later
Two weeks after surgery, I performed in a musical reading in the city.
Yes. Two weeks.
Should I have said no? Maybe. But I knew I could handle it. I went in with boundaries. I sat when I needed to. I gave myself grace. And being back in that rehearsal room? It felt like oxygen.
I didn’t need to be at 100 percent. I just needed to show up. That was enough.
My first audition back at Pearl Studios
My First Audition Post-Op
Not long after, I had my first in-person callback since surgery. And... I was off.
Foggy. Woozy. Forgot part of my cut. Normally, I’d spiral. Ruminate. Question everything.
But this time? I let it go.
Before I started, I simply said, “Hey, just FYI, I’m still recovering from surgery and may need to take my time.” The people behind the table nodded and said, “Great, thanks for letting us know.”
And we moved on. No drama. No shame.
Sometimes showing up is the win.
Finding My New Normal
Now, I’m living in the in-between. I’m not fully “back,” but I’m not where I was. I’m auditioning again. Working remotely. Rebuilding routines. And learning how to rest before I burn out.
I’ve got a cute little scar and some hardware in my spine now. But instead of resenting it, I’m embracing it.
Because the goal was never to go back.
The goal is to move forward—stronger, healthier, and more myself.
Final Thoughts
If you’re recovering from anything—surgery, burnout, mental health—please know:
You’re not lazy. You’re not falling behind. You’re healing. And that counts.
If you’ve felt alone in your pain, if you’re still pushing through when your body is asking you to slow down—I see you.
If this resonated with you, share this post. Share the podcast episode. Tag me on Instagram @ActorAesthetic or @MaggieBera. Let’s spread the word.
Let’s normalize healing. Let’s get loud about taking care of ourselves.
Until next time—stay creative, stay curious, and be kind to your body. It’s doing its best for you.
Master the art of self-taping with minimal equipment! This guide covers easy lighting, camera setup, and framing tips—perfect for actors auditioning for Heathers: The Musical and beyond.