COVID-19 Closures: Anna Langlois (Montclair State University)

The COVID-19 pandemic continues change the world as we know it. As closures and performance cancellations have put actors out of school and work, I’ve been reaching out to the artists affected. Here are their stories.

Hello there friends and thespians!

My name is Anna Langlois, and I’m currently a senior Musical Theatre (BFA) Major at Montclair State University. In the last week alone, my life has turned completely upside down, and I’m incredibly grateful for fellow artists, like Maggie, who are using their platform to bring us all together and to share in our experiences.

I’ve been incredibly blessed over the last 3+ years for the people in my program at MSU, most especially in my (senior) class. We’ve grown extremely close over the years of auditions, dance nights in dorms, trips, shows, etc. Since December, we had been preparing as a class for our Senior Showcase through Actors Connection in NYC. We searched for material that felt genuine to how we wanted to present ourselves to the industry, and coached these choices with various professionals. When we were locked down on our material, our accompanist/showcase advisor organized our choices into an order where one song flowed right into the other, and we began rehearsing for the big event(s)!

Last Friday, we previewed our Showcase for family members and friends on our campus, not knowing it would be the last time we’d see many of our friends from the program. The next day, we presented our showcase pieces for 9 agents/casting directors at Actors Connection and heard various feedback on our choices, outfits, headshots/resumes, and overall “actor packages”. All of this led up to our final showcase, which we performed for various industry members on Tuesday, March 10. I remember walking off stage and bursting into tears of happiness over my own hard work, as well as the work of my incredibly talented classmates. We had prepared backwards and forwards, and when the moment came, we left it all out there.

The next morning I had planned to fly home to Houston, TX for my Spring Break. It was only in the last few days that things with COVID19 seemed like they were starting to get serious, with classes being cancelled across the country. The day of showcase, the head of my program had to cancel a school sponsored trip to Miami, and my family had to cancel a post-graduation trip to Italy we had been planning for months. On Wednesday, I sat on my flight before takeoff, emailing with one of my professors about our program’s production of Titanic, and planning for how we would continue rehearsals with the upcoming class cancellations. By the time I had landed, the entire production, as well as the rest of our program’s season of shows, had been cancelled.

For me, this was when it all really hit, and I was devastated at the loss. The final show of my college career, and my last time working with my friends/peers and our director, whom I had been building a working relationship with extensively over the last few years. I remember coming home, completely unsure of what to do with myself. Classes would be held online for the rest of the semester, meaning I’d have no way or reason to return to campus and complete the last portion of my training. And even worse, not training meant not getting to be with my closest friends and participating in traditions that I was deeply looking forward to before I ended my college career.

I still am struggling with the very sudden loss of so many possibilities and opportunities that I realize have been taking for granted. Dance classes, acting lessons, rehearsals, tech, performances, our program wide prom event and kickball tournament, and so much more. Final moments with classmates and professors alike that I won’t get to have. And despite the fact that I’m so close to graduation, a large part of me was seriously looking forward to these last few months in that I could appreciate the environment and the people that have held me for four years (in preparation for heading out into the unknown that is the Adult World™️ of course).

I realize that sounds like some heavy stuff. In situations like these, which are so out of our hands and completely shatter any expectations we may have, I find it important to let ourselves grieve these losses. Trying to pretend as if these opportunities and possibilities aren’t significant or meaningful, even in the face of an epidemic, won’t take away the hurt we feel for them.

If anything, this sudden change of events has made me realize how grateful I am for the moments I’ve had and the people I’ve been surrounded by in my time at MSU. I’m so lucky to have been a part of such a talented group of young artists, and I’m fortunate that I got to showcase with my closest friends, even if our industry is coming to a halt at this current moment. I wouldn’t take back or change my time at this school, as it has shaped me into the artist and the person I am now. Unfortunately, we often don’t know how good something is until it’s gone.

So, what comes next? I’m not exactly sure. Most of my classmates received industry response from our showcase, and we’re navigating how to move forward with appointments and meetings in this very uncertain time. In the interim, I’m enjoying being home and with my family and friends, and I’m taking some time to slow down. So much of our industry is go go go, and we rarely get a moment to take a breath, and just reflect. I’m reading, I’m journaling, I’m reaching out to my closest friends and sharing what’s on my heart and my mind right now. Connecting with others is always a source of comfort, hence why theatre is so cathartic for most of us.

If anything, this entire experience has been such a lesson to me that we aren’t able to micromanage the journey. We have a vision or a dream, and that remains consistent, but we aren’t supposed to know every little detail of how we get to where we want to be. This epidemic has been one heck of a detour, but I believe we will be shifted in directions we could never have expected. I’m holding out hope, and I’m thanking my lucky stars that I get to be part of such a resilient, loving, and supportive community.

If anyone is going to make it through these dark times, it’s us.

Because we always leave a (ghost) light on to shine us through the night.

Anna Langlois is from Houston, TX and is a Senior Musical Theatre Major at Montclair State University in NJ. Previous roles include Maria in West Side Story, Maggie in A Chorus Line, and Heather Chandler in Heathers. In the meantime, she loves reading, her cat, yoga, and baking anything with chocolate involved!

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